Thursday, January 29, 2009

Your Choice is Crystal Clear

"Your Choice is Crystal Clear"

Crystal Lee for Student Body President

Clever and catchy, yes? That was my political campaign slogan some *cough* years ago in high school. It worked, too. Despite some relentless and deliberate sabotage from a group of senior girls (with rather large hair) who made it their mission to torture we underclass girls (with equally large hair but better looks - imo). If you detect bitterness and resentment in my tone, well you are...completely right. Dumb buuh... I mean, no, no. I am so over that and them and have been for years. Bygones, right?)

So why bring this up now? Perhaps the Obama fever sweeping the nation brought back the nostalgia of my foray into politics. Or perhaps it's being in my hometown after all these years. Regardless, I was thinking about life and choices and things being crystal clear. You would think at my age *cough cough* one would start to gain a sense of clarity. Things should be crystal clear, right?

Well, I find in my life things tend to be clear as...mud ...or, more accurately, poo ... which is what I'm usually dealing with (three young kids, two dogs, you get the picture.)

In my inaugural blog here, I've come up with a sort of state of my union...things that are clear and some things that are... well, poo.

Clear & Poo:

  • This economy sucks. Like huge suck fest. Huge like my ass is getting (thanks to this freaking Midwest weather.) Income could become challenging... as is zipping.
  • Caleb (one-year-old little Cherub that he is) has the third child syndrome. Need a remedy and stat. Symptoms include but are not limited to: Throwing his lovely blond curly head back despite where it might land or whose jaw it might sock, body becomes instantly rigid, mind blowing screams and stuttering "uh uh uh uh!" with a crescendo effect.)
  • Eli (little Precious nearly-five-year-old that he is) takes after his father. You know the whole men only hear what they want to hear thing? Apparently, it starts early. Case in point: this morning while buttoning up his coat, I instructed him to be good at my sister's: play nice, share, clean up, follow the one toy at a time rule and use his manners. When I asked him, "Did you hear what I just said?" He replied, "Yeah, play with one toy and don't jump on the furniture."
  • Anna (little nine-year-old Princess that she is) suddenly has a limited three word vocabulary: "Oh my God!!" Eye rolling and feet stomping come included.
  • Dogs (lovie little golden canines that they are) are afraid of the snow. Mind you, they are desert rats. Born and raised in Arizona (oh how I miss you!) So, until they brave the cold white, I am cleaning up poo in the garage.
  • John (hubby bubby that he is) has become a huge motivation and time suck right now. I mean, how am I supposed to work while he's bundled up on the couch watching episodes of LOST?

It seems that this list is all poo.... where is the clear part? It's clear, crystal clear, that I need a new slogan and a new campaign and a husband with a job and Super Nanny and ... a pooper scooper.

But wait! I am a PR professional and a fledgling politician. I know it's all about how you spin something:

  • This challenging economy is the perfect time to be resourceful. No income? No new shoes. No need to cook dinner- PB&J for all! Oh wait, there was that peanut butter recall... Top Ramen then... once ate it religiously. Hallelujah! Zipping becoming a challenge? I still have maternity pants. I seldom leave the house anyway which is helping with fuel expenses.
  • Caleb is suffering the terrible twos at one... So he's advanced for his age.
  • Eli only hears what he wants to hear.... He is selective. Nothing wrong with being choosy. Especially when choosing say... a wife.
  • Anna is turning into a teenager already... I'll be turning into my mother earlier than I thought. Was bound to happen anyway.
  • Dogs are pooping in the garage ... John can have that job. I mean, until he finds a better one. You know, a paying one. No disrespect, dear. You are handy and very good with a shovel.

And in the meantime, we are all together, in the town I grew up in where it's clear we have lots of family and friends.

I guess your choice is crystal clear - it's all in the way you spin it.


  1. Very nice distillation and clearification of your life challenges. Had no idea you were student body president, but not surprised. In 8th grade my slogan was "Tim Fry wants You!" and the principle made me take down my Uncle Sam finger-pointing flyers because they scared the first graders. I won. As a highschool senior, my slogan was "Tim Fry wants your support" - on top of a photocopying jock strap. I got detention. And won. I'd rather be clear than polite. Probably best to be both, though.

  2. thanks...i really needed that. By the way there is so much here that I am on board with, that I would vote for you any day! Let's hang out soon. Are you coming Saturday night?

  3. Hello Crystal - returning the favour and dropping by to read your blog - you really made me laugh!My dog is afraid of snow too - no hot weather excuse for her, she just doesn't like getting her paws wet!